Sunday, 25 January 2015

Mr P

You quiver when you feel she's moving
Whispering in her ear that she should wait before she makes a mistake
You fill her with fear

Your fertiliser laziness
Strengthens you so
Insecurities, low self esteem helps you to grow

Somehow always there
You're a pro
At stalling him from being motivated
You ensure that his gifts aren't cultivated
Your words are crass
Painful, demeaning, you kill the destinies
Of too many people
The amount affected could fill a nation
If we ignore you, we start moving, growing
Meeting and facing hurdles
Moving closer to our destination.

©LenninaOfori

Monday, 5 January 2015

Happy New Year, Whats Your New Years Resolution?

Hi, Happy New Year. Hope you had a wonderful Christmas.  Ok so it's 2015, a new year, so what was your New Years Resolution? That's the usual question you get asked this time of year. This is because right now in thousands, no millions of homes, worldwide I might add, there are newly dedicated dieters, gym fanatics, newly found meditators, people battling the urge to ditch the ryvita for a chocolate muffin (ok ok that's me) and people surfing the net or rummaging through stores to pin down their new look for 2015.
So what does it all mean? This new years resolution fad. I always remember the grown ups discussing it post Christmas over left over turkey, usually on Boxing day when everyones eating like its still the 25th and justifying their binge eating with the foreshadowing of their new year. As for me I haven't bought into it this time around. I've realised that a new year is just a continuation of last year. Well that's not rocket science you may say? If so then why do we somehow wipe the slate clean each year? Its not as if your gas bill is due, the company are going to say 'lets leave that in 2014', now that would be something. If we're honest it gives us hope, its encouraging to think of all things new and a blank page. That much I agree with. However, here's where I have the problem. Millions of people making and breaking promises they made to guess who? Themselves. This made me think. If you're anything like me you will commit to a lot of things for others, at work, in family, your children, your sibling, a friend, the gas company ha ha but can often be disloyal to yourself. It's so easy to make plans for yourself and change them. You don't have to feel that bad, there's no condescending  glances, no look of disappointment, you can't send yourself an e mail of rebuke, well we can have that 'stare at oneself in the mirror moment' however for many of us it doesn't sit as badly as disappointing others.
My new year started roughly 6 weeks ago. I went on a calorie counting diet, starting writing again after having my baby (whom is currently fast asleep in his crib for now ) Utterly hated every moment of the calorie counting diet though . Who would of thought this once svelt size 8 would be twice the size and ditching my daily intake of all things sweet and decadent for shrubbery and bird food. Yet thus was my fate 5 children later. Well worth it yet a bitter sweet all the same! Yet after many a chai tea and deep reflection I decided I would be loyal to myself. This isn't so much about putting myself first as personally as a mumma, I have to be a tad selfless, they do really come first in my world. However, in those pockets of time I am blessed with, where it's just me and my thoughts I must admit I can be guilty of letting other things, other people steal what is meant for me. I mean I am guilty going to the spa for a facial and allowing my mind to compartmentalise  the various activities of my children and what attire I need to get out for each one .
Ok ok enough rambling, so what does this being loyal to yourself really mean? It definitely doesn't mean waiting for a new year to make some decisions for the betterment  of your own life. Technically I should have been having a fireworks party and counting down in November, yet to protect the image of my sanity (which with 5 children and working in my field is already somewhat tarnished) I went along with the tradition with everyone else to some extent, counting down on 31st  December; you know, not to disturb the status quo. You see making promises to yourself when not part of a tradition are so much easier to keep. Being part of a fad never really lasts and before you once yo-yo dieters start professing your new found serious side, I don't believe everyone who made a new years resolution will fail only 88% of you (according to a 2007 survey ). Plus the origin itself gets the thumbs down from me. It all started when the  Babylonians made their gods promises every year...I'm not dabbling in that thanks! 

Now don't  get me wrong I've done my fair share of affirming, declaring etcetera and can't completely say that the New Year doesn't  still arise some of the old feelings it conjured up in years gone by; reflection, change in this area or another. I'm  not perfect yet have learnt to look at life throughout the year as well.

Just question why you had to wait until the close of one year to know exactly what you wanted. Indeed its a new season, but unlike the seasons that exist in terms of weather, we have a say in the seasons that take place in our lives. I guess I'm saying why wait for a specific date, be loyal to yourself, make promises to yourself and keep them, reflect on life often not after a year of different events some you enjoyed, some you regret.  I guess what I'm  trying  to say is you matter, you count and anything that's going to make your life better doesn't need to be put off and tucked away until tradition says yes, start today!!

Saturday, 27 December 2014

#Trending

What's trending...

Imagine a life with no trending.
No clothing style dictating to you how your spending..
No material expectations, less lending
You just being you and me just being me
No trending via culture no trending via race
No popular people
No 'the people's' favoured eating place
No cliques
No elite

No hot topics
no uniformed people on the street
more individuals
less clones
more real people
less phonies
More gratefulness
Less moaning
No hashtags
FB friends you actually know
Less statuses to get your followers to grow
no pressure
real life
More husbands more wives??

Less selfies
No belfies
More confidence
Less insecurities
Less comparing
More individuality
Less facade
More reality
More how are you's
Less what do you dos,
Him being him, her being her,
Me being me, you being you...

© LenninaOfori2014

Sunday, 14 December 2014

The Great Boob Taboo

Ok so last week as I perused the news I was completely  bored with and jarred by the big breastfeeding debate....errrrm with poverty, Ebola and major social injustices to speak about I'm suprised that this natural, most beautiful and I must add economical gift has been given so much air time and slaughtered so many trees. From the Telegraph to the Guardian everyone was raving about it so it's only right I add my two pence worth. It was interesting to hear the take of fellow mothers noting both the health and economical benefits of feeding. In these situations as women we often gravitate to one another, becoming activists for mothers everywhere, but on a serious note we have empathy for these sorts of issues, which I might add are not really issues at all. Oh and kudos to those mothers that took to the doors of Claridges  breastfeeding their babies in a display of soladarity, my support was made at home drinking earl gray  but I was with you all the way ladies!

All this fuss over breast, boobs, tits, it got on mine so much I tweeted about it and that's saying something. Surely we should have more to say then, about lad mags, top shelf reads and the like. I cringe when I pop into a sweet shop, kids in tow, only for my periphery to be met by 1 or  2 shelves that are laden with women posing au naturele, lust screaming off the page as well as the nether regions, brazilian and all. Some of the shelves aren't even high, but they're at the top so I expect that's acceptable.  Now this has become normal in the UK, although I do remember a few campaigns that fizzled out like cheap lemonade from Asda. Netherless who wants to have to shuffle their children quickly to the til in the hope they won't get a glance. I really dont want to have explain that to  my 5 year old! This no doubt should cause more discomfort, embarrassment and awkwardneess. All this being said I do not understand why public breastfeeding is a big deal. From the Mayor to the Prime Minister everyones talking about it. This mother of 3 who was ever  so discreet in feeding her baby was made to feel like she was about to dance a la burlesque during the afternoon tea which strangely would have probably been met with more acceptance. Oh poor Claridges staff members having to witness such ludeness, 'oh my, cover those eyes, lest you witness the possibly sore nipple of a doting nursing mother'....Newsflash Claridges...I'm sure you have been privvy to members of the elite who frequent your facilities dressed in as little as a transparent bandage to cover their breasts. (Please see said example below) And google images will confirm this, with pics of other celebs such as Kim K at Claridges sporting a neck line as deep as the Grand Canyon, showing off, you'll never guess...her boobs, breast, tools given from God with which to nurse. (And just for the record for those who can't/don't/won't I have nothing against you at all just continue being the brilliant mothers you are) 

Now these examples are not a dig at the 'A listers' merely a display of Claridges acceptance of boobage on show...


Ola Jordan at Claridges Hotel ballroom (getty images)

It saddens me to realise that we live in a society where the norm is now a shock and the weird and sometimes yuck is now wonderful, welcomed and deemed exciting. Obviously one disgruntled waitress and a snotty manager does not speak for the nation, however stories of nurses ushering nursing mothers into backrooms and the nervous splutterings of the powers that be indicates that it is for some reason deemed, dare I say controversial. 

As a mum of 5, yes 5 and no jokes about tellys (I have one sometimes I watch it, sometimes I don't) I have breastfed all of my children and am doing so whilst writing this actually! I'm ever grateful for the ability to multi task whilst feeding and further bonding with my lil bubsy. Knowing that I am lowering my son's  chances of illness and mine in the process makes me want to breastfeed him all the more.  Not to mention saving tons of money feeding him with milk I actually produce! You see if all of the disapproving stooges looked at it for what it is- FEEDING A BABY, they may be able to lose their inhibitions and continue serving macaroons and hibiscus tea without distraction. In public or not in public? that is the question! I receive it as a question of rhetoric as the obvious answer is in public if that's when necessary. It is a complete 'no brainer' duh, that 9 out of 10 times if our babies screamed in a quiet enclosed place we would feed them to their hearts content in that very spot. (Not so sure about a corner especially  as suggested by Mr Farage). I myself have been at restaurants and overly aware of this taboo, have become shy, if thats the right word, thrown a blanket over my shoulder and my son to conceal myself...however sometimes there really is no time to be ensuring everthing is safely in place, fumbling with bra, blanket, baby's mouth to confirm he's latched on properly in his dark and rather hot hiding place mummy has made, he wants milk and boy, he wants it now! In those cases sorry staff and other diners alike, just like us, he's hungry and I must oblige! Most of the time we are able to feed without the awkward  blanket or in this case a napkin, without showing much at all. Yet I'm sure mums everywhere will agree many breastfed babies feed on demand, inconsiderately wailing as we are trying on a skirt in Topshop or about to go in the shower, or whilst eating a cream cheese and salmon sandwich in Claridges. Therefore needs must and we will have to meet the demands of our  babies...after all if we did not the next comment would be 'can you shut that baby up!' Woe to us if people are more fussed about the unconcealed boob of a loving mumma, with so much going on in the world surely we have more to be concerned about! 

Wednesday, 19 November 2014

SON

Your breath on my skin
You say daily you need me sincerely without words
In your eyes I know ignorance is bliss
When it comes to the ways of this world

In your eyes I see a world of opportunity
You have a blank canvas
That I will help you paint  one stroke at a time
Tho it will be your painting not mine
You whisper you're scared when I'm not close
Discrediting none yet I'm the one you're near the most
Your weakness to be expected and although time flies
and soon you won't be so
I want time to freeze
Don't want you to grow too fast
Let every moment last
For in this time you have no worries no true fear
Completely dependant yet not indebted
Ever so needy yet never rejected

Our love is the truest purest form
The epitome of love
Even though I sacrifice I don't resent
And every moment with you is time well spent
Cherished smiles, imprinted in my mind
A compartment made for you is where they are stored
for a time when your neediness diminishes
I can then replay these days in the window of my mind
Yes, Saved for a time when these words may make you blush
Until then I will savour every moment
Your breath is on my skin and you say daily
 you need me sincerely without words.

©LenninaOfori2014


Hey!!

Ok so I've obviously posted a link to the social network of your liking in the hope that you won't bypass it or assume it to be one of those jarring miracle vitamin virus links. So you're here and why pre tell?
I have been writing for years since the 80's when in some parts it wasnt 'cool' for a Black girl to write poetry or deemed a taciturn task for her to want to write short stories in her teens. Thank God that foolishness has somewhat ceased (me thinks) and geek is now chic, being a writer whom is Black doesn't carry such a shock factor, and the fact I'm now too old to give a hoot about what nomenclature people think I should be in and make it my duty not to fit the status quo! So there (sticks out tongue)....
A mother of 5 , wife, sister, daughter,employee, child of God and passionate writer, I now open the door to you and yours to read my weekly rants, epiphanies, research notes, poetry, view my pics, peruse my anedocdotes and scribbles. To be honest there may be days I write in laymans, the next in the highest academic standard (says she) and others where I have a good old ramble..thus the name notes n scribbles. To be honest I enjoy writing in any format although playwriting and research are highest on my list. So therefore inbetween and around working, nurturing, cleaning, cooking, and everything else, I spend my time writing and will give you a little sneek peak every week (poetry of the corniest kind there...maybe not the best start ey?!)

So introductory ramble over welcome and enjoy!